We are so enamored with him. I never understood how captivating the wiles of newborns could be until Jones arrived. Now, we find ourselves in a morning ritual of bringing him to bed after his first meal just to watch him wiggle. Jones even got his dad to “baby talk” a bit while we were at The Mill yesterday! (And yes, we took a three-week-old to The Mill. He also had his first public feeding there — I just wanted to hurry up and get it over with so I wasn’t confined to the house for the rest of his breastfeeding life.)
And just so I’m straight with everyone: I was not this excited about our little newborn when we first brought him home — and I was convinced I was monster-mom because of it. I now realize the shocking reality of parenthood (and the desire to be right before God in said ‘hood’) is more than enough to postpone baby-and-new-mother bonding. Especially if you’re extremely introspective, as I am, and often think too much — things like new babies can easily become terrifying. The phrase “I am evil, born in sin” went through my mind a lot that first week, I felt so awful for my lack of excitement about mothering Jones. But, of course, God is good — and good to me.