I’m tired — I feel like I need to rest, but other things keep calling for my time and attention. The baby isn’t napping well today. There are two loads of laundry that need to be folded (and since one load has sat in a basket for a few days, there’s probably ironing to do, as well). There are dishes that need to be put away and dishes that need to be washed. There is a pile of paperwork on the table that needs to be filed. There is dust on every surface in the house. The kitchen floor is a bit sticky and could use a mopping. There are bills to be paid. The hamburger for tonight’s tacos needs to be browned. There is an endless amount of organizing, de-junking, and ordering that needs to be done.
Is this the never-ending plight of mothers and housewives? You can’t leave your stress at work because you are ‘at work’ 24/7. I keep wondering if I’ll ever feel on top of things. Just when the house is finally beginning to look tidy, the baby begins to nap well, my eyes start to lose their sleepy look, something unexpected drops into my world and it all falls apart. Stress, stress, stress.
But there is something else that needs to be done, as well: I need to sit with my Savior. He has redeemed my life, it belongs to Him, so why is it that all these other things get more of my time and my thoughts? It is so hard for me to rest! I know the necessity of being with Jesus, I understand the implications of living outside of this rest, yet I don’t fully believe it for some reason — if I did, I wouldn’t spend all my energies trying to control and subdue my little section of the universe. I would spend some, that’s for certain, because this is the lot I’ve been portioned by God. But He would always get the first-fruits. Right now, I’m certain He only gets the scraps, if He gets anything at all.
This is no way to treat the One to whom I owe my life. How do I rest my eyes on the eternal world when the physical one is screaming for my attention?