We’re barely getting by over here. My 15-month-old is getting his final four teeth — the ones he’s not supposed to get until he’s 2.5 or 3 years old. He’s always been an awful teether, starting at three months, his entire persona changing while he’s in the throes of it — he doesn’t want to eat or drink, he starts spitting up again because his tummy is so full of saliva, he gets a diaper rash, starts night-waking again and taking shorter naps, and can’t enjoy anything about the world. This time, he’s added head-banging and tongue-pulling to the regimen, I’m supposing because his mouth hurts so much it helps to make other things hurt. It’s quite disturbing. And frustrating. And tiring. His demanding makes me so angry, but then I look at his chubby cheeks and his tired eyes, and my heart hurts for him — such conflicting emotions make me even more tired. I’m mad at what I see in myself when he’s hard to love.
Since I’m on a roll, I’m just gonna keep going — God has heard it all already.. So on top of his teething pain, the mosquitos here are eating Jones alive in his room at night, and he has at least 8 huge, welt-like bites all over his body right now. AND it’s HOT outside, I’m sweating, and I HATE sweating. Its like living in the tropics here! Its so humid outside that the whole area is covered in mist — but it’s not fog, it’s too hot to be fog. We went hiking yesterday, and as we looked out over the landscape and the ocean, we couldn’t even see the skyline because the mist from the humidity was so thick. AND there’s bugs and cockroaches and spiders here, they’re all so HUGE and they always seem to find their way inside. And mold grows like no tomorrow in our shower because of all the humidity, I feel like I need to clean it twice a week — I’m not a cleaner, I’m an organizer. I’m learning the necessity of it here.
And I miss home — all of it makes me miss home. God is using VeggieTales to give me some sanity.. seeing Jones sit in his little overstuffed chair, looking up at the TV and nodding his head along with the songs, my heart could just burst. VeggieTales, nursing (yes, we’re still at it!), apple juice for Jones — chocolate chip cookies, coffee, and blogging for mommy. And singing.. Bryan and I sang some hymns together this morning, and I wish I could remember the lines that helped my heart — they reminded me that I’m right where God wants me, and though I want to be home, if He doesn’t want me there, I can rest assured that He will take care of me here.
*Sigh* I’m feeling slightly better. I’m going to eat a cookie, Jones is watching the “Belly Button” song by VeggieTales, and Bryan will be home from church shortly. (We had to leave early because Jones wasn’t doing so well..)
Here’s to a better afternoon.. I’m glad it’s still morning and there’s time to redeem the day.