i’ve been doing a lot of resting, relaxing, and being quiet the last few days. there are still some things on my pre-baby checklist (and even more on bryan’s!), but i feel rather blase about actually finishing them. i’m pulling into myself and thinking a lot about birth, surrender, gratefulness, and being needy. i’ve been getting in bed an hour or more before planning to fall asleep, just enjoying the quiet and the lamplight and the thought of soon snuggling a newborn. other people have been offering to help out with jones a lot recently, and i’ve welcomed the respite from climbing stairs and taking treks to the ocean, but i’ve also found myself staring at him, lost in the realization that these are our final weeks with just one child and remembering how much this little guy has changed my life. we bought him a present to give him when he becomes a ‘big brother,’ and i am beyond excited to see him open it — he will love it, we are certain, and we can’t wait to give it to him. i’m eager to walk through this next season with him, too, always wondering what he will think of a baby taking up residence in our family of three.
i read this thought somewhere, and i spent a great deal of time thinking about it this morning as i sipped some coffee at mcdonald’s (thank you, ebbers!). the jist of it: its not the presence of our children and their needs that make us feel overwhelmed, but rather our attempts to squeeze-fit them and their needs into our already full lives without changing our priorities. still chewing on this thought and trying to figure out what it means for me and my motherhood.