all babies should know the love of a mother.
at 4a, when i’m nursing little harper and i can hear ezra beginning to cry in his crib, and i know jones will be up by 6:30, adding to my family doesn’t sound like such a fun idea. all i want to do is sleep, and the idea of being “done” with babies and nighttime feedings and diapers is quite attractive.
but i only need see a photo of some baby, some child, and the curve of their cheek or the unbelievable tininess of their fingers strikes me like lightning — there is nothing more important! i feel certain of it in that moment.
and i know i will have more. i want to have more. my own or someone else’s, i will mother them, whoever they are.
i only wish it weren’t so taxing. but deep down, i know that is a sacred and essential part of the blessing, as well.