something big happened today. God spoke to me for the first time in a really long time. and i long to write about it, with poetic and pretty words. but this is about all i have:
today, God spoke to me. He told me that during those five years i remember so well, He knew where it was all going to lead and i wasn’t guilty after all. it was great. the end.
wow. i still can’t believe that even after one of the best days EVER (and i REALLY mean that — God smashed some serious walls for me today), i STILL have zero inspiration for writing. i hate this phase. i really, really do.
and then there are times when i wonder if my fuzzy-brain is (and always will be) a by-product of life in another land, where too much energy is spent on reading signs and making small talk. i peruse the blogs of people who are inspired. and they read books, lots of them, despite the fact that they have small children. and i question, “am i really a writer? why does life have to take so much out of me?”
today, after my meeting with God, i sat on a floor cushion and listened to andrew peterson’s “behold the lamb of God”. i touched bryan’s leg and let my mind rest on the brave little boy who made Himself nothing on my behalf. i feel as if i’m being made into nothing. i hope He will fill me up soon.